Jonah Naplan   May 30, 2023

What it’s not is a good comedy, or a movie for me. “Book Club: The Next Chapter”—the much anticipated sequel to the glitter and glam 2018 predecessor “Book Club” is a film no one asked for. Not because the first was hated (though it did receive lukewarm reviews), but because we must ask ourselves why would a movie like that warrant a follow-up? Quite frankly, the “Book Club” franchise is one recurring joke stretched out to feature length. It’s a good joke, but one that’s only renewable for a few punchlines. Here, it just feels tired. I was not especially anxious to keep turning its pages.

Enjoy the book puns while they last because “Book Club: The Next Chapter” removes the book idea from the franchise entirely. In the last film, our quartet of fabulous women—Diane (Diane Keaton), Vivian (Jane Fonda), Sharon (Candice Bergen) and Carol (Mary Steenburgen)—were an inseparable group who discovered the magic and mystery that is Fifty Shades of Grey. Amidst a potpourri of quarantine jokes, talk of fate, and plenty of new love and engagement rings, “The Next Chapter” plucks its characters from their suburban background and releases them into Rome, Tuscany, and Venice.

A movie about the people in the club rather than the club itself or any books at all—though the members did recently read Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist—“The Next Chapter” plays it incredibly safe with its scenarios. It opens with Zoom meeting gags that feel overplayed because we’ve all lived through them, and adding the touch of these legends looking foolish as they struggle to understand the mute button, and how to turn potato filters off is just embarrassing. Likewise is the overabundance of cheap dick jokes that permeate this movie’s landscape. If you’re gonna have dick jokes, at least tell a good one. But no. Sometimes it’s difficult to tell if the movie is suggesting something is a dick joke or not. Maybe I was just taking certain things the wrong way. I do have a dirty mind, after all.

When Arthur (Don Johnson) proposes to Vivian, the woman who never thought she’d be married is suddenly engaged, causing an excited uproar amongst her friends. And when Carol pipes up with the idea of traveling to Italy for an exotic bachelorette party—a trip the girls have always wanted to have—so begins a saga of severe missed opportunities on the part of the writers and filmmakers, as a journey to the country of elegante overflows with convenient routes, misunderstandings, and, of course, more middle-school-level… I don’t even have to say what kind of joke anymore.

Notice how I’m not and never will blame the fine actresses for any of my issues with this film. This is not their fault, nor is it usually the fault of any actor in any movie. The actresses must make do with the thin plot and characters they’re given, and to their credit, it seems like they’re trying their absolute best. The legends are the strongest part of this movie, and no one gives a bad performance. But the substance they have to work with—the most basic of contemporary Italian cliques, squandering about the ancient but beautiful cities with their head in the clouds, all while “Mambo Italiano” plays on the backing track instead of a real score, is lazy. These women deserve much better, and so do we.

Confined only to small attributes, the men in “The Next Chapter” are granted similarly little justice. Back home, Diane’s partner Mitchell (Andy Garcia) paces about their home, given no qualities other than the “supportive boyfriend.” And Carol’s husband Bruce (Craig T. Nelson) is recovering from a recent heart attack that prevents him from eating junk food. There’s a subplot involving Sharon’s spark with a new man named Ousmane (Hugh Quarshie), but it ultimately leads nowhere and is just filler—a missed opportunity for such a genial actor.

There’s nothing remotely remarkable about this sequel. Predictably, there’s a bridal gown shopping scene, a pit stop with a flat tire, and a recurring encounter with a police sheriff (Giancarlo Giannini) who seems to have special beef with Sharon. But to my surprise, our heroes actually end up in jail in one scene, as one does, of course. Co-written by director Bill Holderman and Erin Simms, “Book Club: The Next Chapter” is not so much terrible as it is painfully forgettable and often boring. None of it is offensive, and depending on the audience, some may even find it cute. But I feel much the same way about this film as I do towards “80 for Brady.” It’s just not cinema for me, and I can’t keep expecting that to change.

The ending was touching though. I found the marital turn of events to be sweet and genuinely meaningful, proving that there is passion and good intention hidden deep down somewhere in this project. It’s the best scene in a movie that is otherwise uninspired and tedious.

Now playing in theaters.