By Jonah Naplan

July 28, 2022

Wait a minute. You’re telling me that “DC League of Super-Pets” is actually good? Because you’re wrong. Dead wrong. But don’t worry. I was wrong too. See, tonight I went out of my way, walking about twenty minutes from my San Diego hotel, to see the newest Warner Bros. animated film, and actually had high hopes. Critics seemed to enjoy it. I heard some early reactions that said it was a good time. I love the two top-billing actors featured on the poster, and yeah, maybe I thought the trailers were underappreciated. But I was wrong. Because how could this possibly have been a good movie? There are so many missteps inside of these 106 minutes—too many to include in this review. It’s especially frustrating to think about, considering that the abysmal “Paws of Fury,” another animal-oriented animated kids film, came out only two weeks before this one. “DC League” is a slightly better movie, but it’s just as dreadful to sit through.

I haven’t seen this pathetic of an attempt at bringing current properties into animation in a long time. If you’re unfamiliar with the lovely plot of “DC League of Super-Pets,” it’s likely because there isn’t one. I just saw the movie all the way through, and I still feel unfamiliar with the premise. But what you probably already knew was the connection that this movie has with other DC characters. Or maybe you didn’t know that. I can only assume. Krypto (Dwayne Johnson) is the beloved four-legged friend of Superman. As we see in a montage at the beginning of the movie, the two of them are inseparable. We see them during “walk-o’-clock,” and during their daily adventures fighting crime in the city. These early scenes reminded me of the most generic parts from both “The Secret Life of Pets” movies. So far, so familiar. Starting a movie like this is just fine, assuming that it will add more creativity towards the end. I waited. And I waited. Then I waited some more. Eventually the final fifteen minutes of the movie rolled around, and not a single creative idea was in sight. I already wasn’t enjoying the movie, and those final scenes simply reinforced that. The film ends with a final battle involving a giant mutated guinea pig—the movie seems to be obsessed with those small pets—and lots of “BOOM” sound effects. Do I even have to describe the set piece any more?

Wow. I just got so ahead of myself describing the finale that I forgot to explain how we got there in the first place. That’s actually coincidentally quite fitting considering that the movie does the same. There’s light exposition and setup for about the first thirty minutes, but the remaining hour that follows is essentially just one long slog of a final battle. And not a single moment in that time period stood out to me. I suppose that goes for the rest of the movie just the same way. The most interesting thing about this entire film was actually the idea that they decided to make Green Lantern female. It’s a refreshing gender-swap that I wished was touched on more. 

But of course, Green Lantern is a member of the Justice League, and therefore isn’t allowed to be shown on-screen all that often. Because of course, this movie HAD to be about those annoying super pets. Particularly a pig played by Kate McKinnon and a squirrel named Chip played by Diego Luna. The movie really REALLY wants us to be invested in these characters. But I. Just. Didn’t. Care. Just another example of two more characters played by two more actors who deserve way better than this. Not to mention the other top-billing actor, Mr. Hart, who also seems like he has a massive student loan he still hasn’t paid off, because why else would he dedicate his time to a movie like this?

Massive amounts of money aside, the movie just looks cheap. In that friendship montage I mentioned before, we see Superman and Krypto flying high above the city. In the background, lives an assortment of skyscrapers, and the animation on each of them just looks…bad. For God’s sake, the detailing and design department that accounted for “Paws of Fury” even made a better looking movie than Warner Bros. did. What went wrong here? 

This is a high budget studio movie with no sense of direction. Ideas are just sloppily thrown together into a film that runs about an entire twenty minutes longer than it needs to. I even forgot to mention that Lex Luthor is revealed to be a major part of the film’s story. Because of the way he’s presented, the character seems so insignificant. 

I would like this to be the last time that an animated movie of this quality level gets thrown into theaters. At least for a little while. Because the kids deserve better than this. I know we can’t have everything, but is a good movie too much to ask?