Jonah Naplan   May 20, 2023

The fact that Rita Moreno, although only in two scenes, is in “Fast X” is hilarious. Not because the movie is bad—although it has plenty of imperfections—but because the legendary EGOT, I’d think, would find the whole ordeal of a franchise quite silly. She’s not treated poorly, and in fact, there’s a greater chance she would have been, had she been written into more scenes, but Moreno is just there, as Dom Toretto’s (Vin Diesel) grandmother, for no reason. Is it the immortal “Fast & Furious” franchise’s attempt to impress the harsh critics who do not view these movies as cinema?

Well, even with Rita Moreno, those critics’ minds will not be changed with this latest entry in the franchise. “Fast X” expands upon the absurdness of the last few “F&F” movies, and does nothing new to appeal to anyone who already didn’t like them. Quite frankly, “Fast X” doesn’t care. It’s a spectacle that takes both the best and worst elements of the franchise, combined into an overlong, yet mostly enjoyable globe-trotting narrative that is as popcorn-munching and serviceable to fans as it is convoluted.

“Fast X” picks up about two years after “F9: The Fast Saga” left off. And it’s a tale of four movies happening at once. The villain this time around is Dante Reyes (Jason Momoa), the flamboyant yet vengeful son of Hernan Reyes, a crime boss who was killed by Dom’s crew in the bank-vault-stealing climax of “Fast Five.” He reiterates time and time again that he does not want to kill Dom; he wants him to suffer. Dante acts very juvenile, using his weapons of mass destruction as action figures, making “BOOM!” sound effects when buildings literally do, and painting the toenails of the people he kills. Dante is a child.

But I wouldn’t say that Momoa “going for it” in that regard, is a bad thing. For some, it will be. But for me, it felt indicative of the fact that these movies are done taking themselves seriously, especially after the insanity (and inferiority) that was the last outing. Sadly, no one goes to space in “Fast X” though. Dante’s childlike presence is another thing that proves how self-aware these movies have become in recent years, especially after a glorious victory lap that took place from 2011 to 2015. In “Fast Five,” “Fast & Furious 6,” and “Furious 7”—the best string of “Fast & Furious” movies to date—the franchise felt incredibly focused again, centering equally on the action as it did the people involved.

It is with disappointment that I report that “Fast X” is no longer as intelligent nor focalized as those three. The team—or rather “family” aspect, though often sappy—of these movies is no longer felt here. For one, Dom’s crew is separated four ways. After one of the movie’s best sequences—a setpiece in Rome that involves a massive bomb speeding towards the Vatican—the team gets separated, on their own different missions, in different countries, at different times. 

“Fast X” provides us with a hardened rendition of “Old Man Dom,” a Toretto who seems more so filled with grief and worry than he did in the past. He’s still happily married to Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), and looks after his son ‘Little B’ (Leo Abelo Perry). But he now seems like a little bit more of a reluctant hero than he did in the past. When Cipher (Charlize Theron) arrives at his home unannounced, she triggers a chain reaction by telling her tale of meeting Dante that night, or, as she calls him, “The Devil.” After Dante executes his plan in Rome, rendering Dom’s crew as terrorists to the public eye, Roman (Tyrese Gibson), Tej (Ludacris), Ramsey (Nathalie Emmanuel), and Han (Sung Kang) flee to London, where they of course run into Shaw (Jason Statham).

Letty gets locked up in a high-surveillance prison in—no joke—Antarctica with Cipher, leaving Mr. Nobody’s daughter, Tess (Brie Larson) as their only means of escaping. Dom is in Rio de Janeiro, on the run with the sister of a deceased ally, Isabel (Daniela Melchior). And Dom’s brother—the villain from “F9”—Jakob (John Cena)—in the cringiest of subplots—is on a road trip with Dom’s son—that is somehow also a driving lesson for the young boy? I didn’t even mention Dom’s sister, Mia (Jordana Brewster in her most miniscule franchise role so far) and Shaw’s mother (Helen Mirren, also hilarious in the fact that she’s included on this cast list).

Understand now why I called “Fast X” unfocused? I will admit that the good thing about all of this chaos is that it’s never once boring. I’m a proudly proclaimed sucker for this kind of cheap, turn-your-brain-off entertainment, even knowing full well that there are far better things I could be watching, or even seeing in the theater. The other biggest movie at the multiplex right now—also conveniently featuring Vin Diesel, but in a voice acting role—”Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3” could be considered, and I suppose actually is, richer and much more thoughtful entertainment than this. But “Fast X” works the absolute best for the niche group of franchise veterans who worship Dom and these movies as their near and dear religion.

But I too have seen all ten of the other “Fast & Furious” movies, and know the standards that this franchise has set. “Fast X” does not take any risks. It’s not nearly as crazy as other entries, nor as serious and heartfelt as the films on the other end of the spectrum. It lives in an almost depressing middle ground that makes itself fun in the moment, but considerably unremarkable in the hours after you leave the theater. Watching the movie, I kept wishing it would do something—anything. Thinking about it now, the only thing that makes it stand out from the crowd is its villain, a notion of enthusiasm that some of the other entries lack.

Its lacking of uniqueness can be traced all the way back to production issues regarding the departure of franchise veteran Justin Lin, who left the project due to creative differences. He’s here replaced by “The Incredible Hulk” and “Clash of the Titans” director, Louis Leterrier, who is just passable enough to make the movie tolerable. The writing here is lazy, and commits each member of Dom’s beloved team to only one or two minor character traits. Even Dom himself seems despairingly two-dimensional.

It’s hard to shake the feeling that these movies are running out of steam, and that at this point, movie number eleven, they only exist for finances. The ending, however, I thought worked. Some have drawn comparisons to “Avengers: Infinity War,” and they’re correct. It’s incredibly anticlimactic, leaving characters split up, missing, and presumed dead. Vin Diesel has come out and announced that the “Fast & Furious” movies still have two more entries slated to release, and that “Fast X” was merely the start of a trilogy to close out the franchise. I’d be lying if I said I’m still not excited for the next movie, but my hopes couldn’t be more cautious.

NOTE: There is an uber-important mid-credits scene, that I'd highly recommend you stay for if you're a franchise fan.

Now playing in theaters.